


A Solution for Big Green

by CircleUp



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:33:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21782251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CircleUp/pseuds/CircleUp
Summary: Tony finds out that Bruce hulks out at climax, and decides to use that to everyone's advantage.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 109
Collections: Secret Santa 2019 Presents





	1. Chapter 1

"Let's unpack this!" Tony says brightly and Bruce has to bite back a groan.

"I'd rather not," he utters. It's stiff, and understandably, because Tony is looking as pleased as he can get while walking around the remains of Bruce's room.

It's bad. Not the usual level of destruction the Hulk can wreak, but bad on a whole different level, because Tony is now crouching down next to a puddle of green goop and Bruce wants to absolutely die.

"Jerking off, huh?" Tony says knowingly. He bounces back to his feet, claps his hands together once, not at all perturbed by what has to be the most humiliating moment in Bruce's life.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"We'll need to get you a much stronger bed." The front edge of the frame has been crushed where the Hulk gripped it in one huge hand in a moment of ecstasy. Tony inspects this, thoughtful. "Have you never masturbated before?"

It's rhetorical, since Tony is sure the answer can't possibly be yes, but Bruce surprises him: "Not since the accident."

Shocked, Tony whirls to face him. "What?"

Bruce is becoming annoyed, defensive. He has to take a breath, because Tony is excellent at pushing anyone's buttons. "Strong emotions bring out the big guy."

Tony's floored, honestly, but he recovers quickly. "Well we've gotta do something about that."

The truth is, Tony's been flirting with Bruce for months. It was idle at first, because Tony habitually flirts with everything that has the honor of drifting too close to his orbit, but then Bruce starts to flirt back, and Tony isn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Bruce is fun and incredibly smart and nerdy and perhaps most importantly a scientific marvel all on his own, just like Tony. The only other person who checks all those boxes is Richards and he's a complete prude, insufferable, and also relatively straight. Tony didn't let the first two facts stop him but the last one proved to be an insurmountable barrier.

Tony turns to crowd up against Bruce, his eyes bright the way they get when he's got an idea brewing. "Hear me out," he says, and Bruce rolls his eyes. "The Hulk didn't destroy the room."

Bruce's brow goes up in disbelief, but Tony cuts him off. "Look at it. This isn't the big guy's usual level of destruction, right?"

Reluctantly, Bruce has to nod.

"What happened after you came?" Tony asks, casual about it. The crassness makes Bruce grimace but he does answer.

"He passed out."

Tony lights up. He's got his fingers on Bruce's button-up shirt, walking them up the buttons. "He passed out. So sex calms him down."

Bruce doesn't like where this is going.

"And," Tony continues. His fingers have reached skin, the delicate hollow of Bruce's neck. "You've never explored that method of trying to calm him down, have you?"

Bruce can honestly admit that he hasn't. He swallows and blinks out of Tony's spell, frowning as he bats his hand away. "No. We're not trying that."

"Brucey. It's in everyone's best interest to find the most efficient way to calm him down, right?"

"I could kill you. In a second. Even if it works and he's calmed by it, one mistake or wrong movement and you're dead," Bruce tells him harshly, but Tony only brightens.

"So it's definitely me who'd be helping?" He says, sly, because he hadn't mentioned that at all. Bruce glares at him.

"This isn't a joke, Tony."

"And I'm completely serious." Tony steps back out of Bruce's space, gives him some breathing room. He avoids the green cum on the floor, now gelatinized. Tony isn't going to be able to make a cleaning crew handle any of this; he's going to have to do it himself.

Bruce's brow is furrowed to unprecedented depths, but surprisingly he begins, "Let's say we try it," and Tony grins at him, earning an admonishing look in return. "If we try it, I want… to try masturbating again a few times first. Under observation," he makes himself say, his teeth gritted.

Tony's smooth about it. "Not a problem. We'll fix up the room. I'll have it good as new by tomorrow. The bed might take another day."

"And you're not telling anyone about this," Bruce feels compelled to add.

"Cross my heart," Tony promises.

Bruce sighs. It looks like he partially regrets agreeing, but not enough to take it all back. More than anyone else, he wants a solution to this, and even if it promises to be an embarrassing one maybe he'll get some good data from it afterwards.

Tony claps his hands together, business-like. "I'll get everything ready." Then: "So, it doesn't punch through walls?"

It takes Bruce a second to realize what he means and he actually laughs. "No, Tony!"

"You have to admit that could have been a possibility. And I'll reenforce the walls in anticipation of your powerful ejaculate, if needed."

Bruce just groans, but after it is a laugh of almost relief. He lets Tony herd him out of the room and heads down to the lab while the engineer stays behind to prepare things.

It's awful but it's also nice, having someone else facing this with him.

Bruce kind of hopes it actually works.


	2. Chapter 2

"So. We go into this nice and easy," Tony says.

A week has passed since Bruce had called him in to help with the room he'd trashed while orgasming as the Hulk (what a sentence! Tony's still thinking about it), and Tony hasn't been dissuaded from the idea of helping him through the next one at all. He's been downright giddy in the face of all of Bruce's trepidation, and once even cornered Bruce briefly in the labs for a quick make-out session that Bruce was too stunned to stop. Afterward, Tony claimed it had provided "excellent data points," and meandered off, whistling, to leave Bruce brushing his lips with his fingers and trying to decide what had just happened.

Now Tony is sprawled on Bruce's newly reenforced bed, like he owns it. Which he does. "Stop hovering. Sit." He pets the comforter beside him invitingly.

Bruce's sigh is ragged. "This is a bad idea," he says, not for the first time, but Tony predictably isn't listening at all.

"Pants," he orders, and watches as Bruce takes off everything, including his socks, while Tony's brows go up.

"If I don't take them off, they'll rip," he mutters with a shrug, self-conscious.

"I'm not complaining. Nice. You look good. Keep yourself fit. Kinda thought you'd have a dad bod," Tony declares while Bruce rolls his eyes and takes a seat next to Tony.

Tony is no longer there any more though. He pushes off the bed and settled between Bruce's legs before he can say anything about it.

Bruce isn't aroused, but Tony plans on turning that one around. "Relax." His hands slide up the inside of Bruce's thighs. "It'll be fine."

"Easy to say now," Bruce mutters, and Tony can tell that's about as relaxed as he's going to get without help.

Tony says, "Relax," again, softer as he leans in, lipping a trail that follows where one of his hands went, up the sensitive skin of Bruce's thigh. "I've got you."

His teeth graze the muscle there, making Bruce twitch and inhale, and Tony smiles, brushing a kiss over that spot then turning to nose around his cock and balls, his lips brushing over his ball sack and then suckling the head of Bruce's cock into his mouth.

Bruce is hardening quickly. Tony curls his tongue around him, then pops off with some suction, and Bruce moans above him. A hand lands on Tony's head, fingers brushing through his hair, as Tony takes him back in, deeper now, all the way until his nose is in curly pubic hair and Bruce is firmly against the back of his throat.

Tony half swallows. Bruce gasps, and there's something gutteral in it, something deep.

Tony looks up. Bruce's skin is turning green, his muscles tight and rippling. There's something in his expression that's both darkly aroused and scared. Tony bobs his head up and down Bruce's length as it thickens in his mouth, pulling off entirely before either of them can regret that but fuck if that doesn't give him ideas for later. He mouths at the growing head instead, circling him with one then both hands because the Hulk is a big boy. A big, big boy.

"Mouth," Hulk demands. He's lifted his heavy hand from Tony's head and placed both on either side of himself on the bed. Naked, he's glorious, all powerful muscles, his jutting cock like a sapling. Tony's fingers around him don't touch. He has to use two hands.

Tony couldn't be more turned on.

With a laugh, he licks a strip up the underside of his length. "Can't fit, big guy. Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

It's a lot harder coordinating two hands to jerk someone off. Tony can honestly say he's never done it, and next time he's definitely using lube because he doesn't have enough spit for all of this. Hulk pants under him, grunting approval every time Tony sucks at his tip. His enormous balls tighten, and Tony pulls back in time for him to shoot off.

It's a lot, a dozen thick ropes that drench—literally, Tony's drenched—Tony's shirt, dripping down from his face. He honest to God holds his breath as he milks the Hulk through it, who gives one last groaning roar and collapses back onto the bed, chest heaving.

"Sleep now," Hulk grunts. Tony paws green cum out of his eyes to squint them open, and sure enough Hulk is already half passed out.

"Think that's a success, J," Tony says as he climbs to his feet. In his sleep, the Hulk is shrinking, pinkening, turning back to Bruce. Tony throws half the covers over him.

"It seems to be one, sir. Shall I prepare your shower?"

Tony licks his lips. It doesn't taste any different than any other cum, and he's almost disappointed by that. "Yep. I'll be up in a second."

"Very good, sir."

Tony just strolls out into the hallway and toward his private elevator like that.

It isn't like it's the worst way anyone's seen him.

**Author's Note:**

> For Zandera and Greyestowl.


End file.
